John's Blogs and Stuff

It’s been a while!

Sorry that this hasn’t been a weekly endeavor, the continuous losses by 35 points each week took a toll on me. I’ve spent most of the fall indoors and depressed, wondering when the Lambs will turn things around.

A 5-8 season really takes a toll on a man.

Regular sessions with my therapist have helped. She regularly tells me things like “It’s just a game” and “Aaron Rodgers has had an average ADOT of 6.87 yards in his last 3 games and you still started DK Metcalf? You’re bringing this pain upon yourself“.

But at the end of the last session, she mentioned something that brought my will to live back into full force. After discussing my deep‑rooted fear of intimacy and emotional vulnerability, she whispered to me: “You know, the Lambs aren’t technically eliminated form playoff contention yet.”

SO WITH THAT WE ARE SO BACK.

Let’s take a look at all the possible playoff scenarios so you know what you’re playing for in week 14.

NOTE: The top 2 finishers in the regular season will earn a bye week for the playoffs. This is a gigantic advantage, as you only need to win 2 games to win the championship – compared to having to win 3 if you don’t get the bye.

# Bye Week

We have 3 teams fighting for those 2 spots – Kade, Grace, and Calli.

Kade’s Path to a Bye

Kade controls his own destiny here – a win and he’s got it. He’ll lock up the #1 overall seed if any of the following happen:

• Win against Rachael.
• Loss by Grace AND Calli.

If he loses against Rachael, he will need one of the following to happen:

• Grace to lose.
• Calli to lose.
• Calli to win and not outscore him by 29.36 points.

Grace’s Path

Grace basically has two paths. If she wins, she’ll get a bye.

If she loses, she needs the following to happen:

• Calli to lose.

Calli’s Path

Calli needs a win to get the bye. If she loses, she will be the #3 seed.

If she wins, she’ll need one of the following to happen:

• Kade to lose AND to outscore Kade by 29.36 points.
• Grace to lose.

Clinched Spots

Gigi and Shaun have both clinched a spot in the playoffs. It doesn’t say that Shaun has clinched on ESPN, but it would require Alex or I to outscore her by over 150 points on Sunday – which is impossible.

So congrats to you two!

You both could finish anywhere between the #4 and #6 spot, depending on how some things play out. So don’t rest the starters, it’s still important to get the W this weekend!

Last Playoff Spot

Technically, Rachael is still alive and eligible to make the playoffs. But she would need to win, have both Alex and I lose, and outscore both of us by about 90 points. Good luck, Rachael!

Realistically, the last spot comes down to 4th and 20 and SAD LAMB NOISES.

Alex’s Path

If Alex wins, he’s in.

If he loses, he needs either of the following to happen:

• John to lose.
• John to win AND John not to outscore him by 20 points.

# John’s Path

Basically the opposite of Alex’s. John needs all the following to happen to make the playoffs:

• Alex loses to Calli.
• John wins against Luke.
• John outscores by Alex by 20 points.

Alternatively, John can also make the playoffs if:

• He abuses the commissioner settings and boots Grace from the league.

Slim chances but the Lambs are going out swinging!

The Rest

Drew and Luke, good effort this year boys. Things didn’t really shake out the way you wanted, but you’re still competing! Remember, the loser has a punishment this year. So make sure to set your lineups this week, and pay attention for the Toilet Bowl playoffs.