John's Blogs and Stuff

We received your feedback and took note of the animosity in the group chat after missing the Week 3 Recap.

Let’s clear the air.

We did everything we could to pump out a recap for Week 3. Unfortunately, we couldn’t pass concussion protocol (in other words: I worked til 6PM every night). Thus, we couldn’t find the time to give you all what you deserve – the week 3 recap.

With that, I offer you two good pieces of news:

• I elected to skip the week 3 recap entirely, rather than sending out AI slop. You’re welcome.
• The week 4 recap is LIVE and we are BACK.

Weekly Winners

• Eggs
• Cheese
• Milk
• Strawberries

Whoops… wrong list.

• Drew (Let Him Cook)
• Grace (my njigba)
• Kade (Tua Girls One Kupp)
• Calli (Ayahuasca Aaron)
• Alex (4th and 20)

Weekly Losers

• John (Lambunctious) 😔
• Shaun (Let’s Get Krafty)
• Luke (Hotties Only)
• Gigi (GIGI19)
• Rachael (The Curse of BaBa)

Summary

Drew and John battled in a matchup that both teams desperately needed to win. And boy do I need to air some grievances. I stayed up and watched both the Jets vs Dolphins game (puke), and the Bengals vs Broncos game (puke x2), in hopes that my team could mount a comeback. With 4 minutes left in the 4th quarter, we got it to a score of 112.88 – 112.9. So close we could almost taste it. Ultimately, Tee Higgins got 1 more catch and Let Him Cook defeated Lambunctious by a score of 114.1 – 112.88. Big win for Drew as he steps off the winless bus. Both teams move to 1-3 on the season.

Grace’s beef with TJ Hockenson continues for another week. Thankfully her WRs came to play – with Puka and Pickens scoring 29.5 and 29.4 points, respectively. “Puka and Pickens” sounds like it could have been a cartoon that aired on Cartoon Network 20 years ago. Anywho, Shaun’s newly named team put up a good fight, but fell a little short. Let’s Get Krafty moves to 1-3 on the season, while my nji*** moves to 3-1. Grace wins 132 – 129.76.

CAN ANYBODY BEAT KADE STEINBRECHER? Even on a down week, Kade squeaks by in a victory over Luke. Tua Girls One Kupp keeps the undefeated season alive and moves to 4-0 on the season. Luke’s team is still looking for their first win, and sit at 0-4. Kade wins 96.96 – 84.48.

CAN ANYBODY BEAT CALLISTA CAIN? Gigi tried this week, but fell short. Calli’s team is looking stacked, as show moves to 4-0 on the year. Gigi drops to 1-3, and looks for a WR1 replacement as she loses Nabers for the year 😔. Ayahuasca Aaron keeps the good vibes rolling and beats GIGI19 129.2 – 86.58

Alex gets a bittersweet victory this week against Rachael. Positives: Ashton Jeanty decided to play football! Negatives: Lamar Jackson may be on the shelf with a hamstring injury, and AJ Brown is sending out cryptic tweets. A big victory this week moves him to 3-1, and gives him some wiggle room. Rachael looks to bounce back next week, and moves to 2-2 on the year. 4th and 20 defeats The Curse of BaBa 125.28 – 103.92.

Moving Forward

Week 5 will be a real test of relationships. We have:

• Drew vs Shaun
• Rachael vs Kade
• Calli vs Alex

Who’s going to walk away victorious? Who’s going to be sleeping on the couch? Who’s turn is it to mow the lawn? Find out in Week 5!

Also, I’ve decided to change my team name to SAD LAMB NOISES until they can get their act together. In the words of the great (?) Cam Ward: “If we keeping it a buck right now, we ass”. Not even exaggerating, he actually said that. Hopefully the change in names can bring this team to life again.